Shove
by Takhrenixe
Summary: ...Some people just don't get it. Rated T mostly for Shadow being a very pissed off Hedgehog. EDIT: It is now to be a trilogy, with the prequel as the first chapter, the main fic second, and the soon-to-come sequel as the last. Enjoy!
1. Push

**BREAKING NEWS: I have decided...-insert fanfare here-...to make a prequel for "Shove"! Yep, you heard right. I've been having so MUCH positive feedback for it (especially from Sonicthehero5602-you're BEYOND awesmazing, man), that I've finally given in to the constant requesting of it. So. For those of you that wanted this, well, you've got HIM to thank for it; otherwise I'd never have gotten around to writing the fic. So you'd better give him some credit.  
****Now. On with it!  
****Also. I don't have any idea why, but I'm putting it in a journal format, in Sonic's point of view. It'll be an adventure, because I've never tried anything like it. Therefore, if it sucks, there is valid reason for that. I'm a first-timer with this particular style.**

**DISCLAIMER: If I owned Sonic I wouldn't need an FFnet account because all my ideas and OTPs would be put into the games, shows, comics and movies. So be glad I don't, or the Sonic franchise would be off-limits to anybody under 17. xD**

**_Catalyst_**

_Dear Friend,_

_First of all this is NOT a diary. It's a journal. There's a difference. I'm not some girl that writes their whole life story in big pink book with a lock on it. Yuck._

_...I've mostly started this stupid thing because I just _know _the Typhoon is gonna bore me to death. It's a big chunk of hollow metal with one way in and one way out, and it's gonna be in space, so I can't get out and run. Which will suck._

_Tails can call it 'the greatest thing ever made' and 'his pride and joy' all he wants, but I really wouldn't care if Chaos himself put it on a pedestal and called it a god._

_It's still a piece of metal with holes in it._

_I gotta go help load the supplies and stuff, they're taking waaay too long. Or, on second thought, maybe I'll just sneak out and go on a run and make sure they leave without me. Yeah, that works. But that'd be mean, so...darn it._

_...I'd like space a lot more if it had more solid ground. Oh, and air kinda helps too._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_Well, we're finally off the ground. I haven't even been on this thing for a full 24 hours and my 'bored-to-death' prediction turned out pretty darn accurate. Ugh._

_There is NOTHING to do here. No dirt roads to run on and watch the dust get kicked up into a tornado behind me, no hills to nap on, no wind to run against...there isn't even any _sunlight_ here! I'm gonna use one of the escape pods and go back home if this keeps up._

_So...BORED..._

_And. Get this. The Typhoon is huge(and I mean seriously huge, like, MONDO huge), and the hallways go on for MILES. But I can't run anywhere. Every time I try to go from 0 to 600 I end up slipping and hitting the wall when I round corners._

_One thing to say about that. OW._

_...Not to mention Knuckles is usually right in front of me when I fall. And he laughs, and I laugh with him, because it IS kinda funny I guess and-_

_I don't like it when he laughs._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_Day Two._

_Still bored. Still hitting walls. Still getting laughed at. Still hating space._

_Let me OFF of this stupid thing! I give! Uncle! Somebody get Tails mad so he 'WILL turn this ship around!' PLEASE!_

_Gah, I sound like a two-year-old. Get a grip, Hedgehog!_

_...I'm just BORED._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_Today was...eventful. I guess. For once I wish it hadn't been._

_Notes to Self: Knuckles doesn't like to be talked to, and Shadow is acting WEIRD._

_After about three hours of exploring(I told you this thing is big.), I found the Typhoon's kitchen. Really didn't care that much, but I was happy about it for like two seconds. Which is a few days, for me. So that was cool._

_I left pretty quick, and on my way back here I found Knux staring out one of the windows, so I asked him if he wanted some ice cream or something from the kitchen, since I was just there. He said no._

_...Well, actually, he said a lot more than that..._

_"Why the hell would I want ice cream? Quit bothering me and ask someone else!"_

_Yeah...THAT'S what he said. Kinda hurt, dunno why. But whatever._

_Things got weirder after that, though. Once Knuckles was finished yelling at me, SHADOW walked up. He didn't say anything, but I could tell by looking at him something was off. I asked him 'bout it, and he just stared and said, "Nothing."_

_Knuckles stomped away and Shadow teleported, so I was...alone...in the hall then._

_You better believe I came back here quick._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_Yes! FINALLY! Some action! Today was awesome; we got attacked by one of the Metarex goons. It felt real good to fight something strong, since I hadn't in a while, not counting Egghead's pathetic robot minions. This guy was actually a challenge, and I had FUN with it. Knuckles fought it too._

_...His fun was mostly laughing his face off when I got hit._

_What's up with that guy, anyway? He's changed a lot lately. Kinda acting more like...Shadow. In the happy-with-other-people's-pain sense, anyway. It's weird._

_Coulda been my imagination, but after that I think Shads made the 'Rex fall on him on purpose. That time it was ME doing the laughing. Seriously, you shoulda seen him, though! That expression was priceless! xD_

_Kinda regretted laughing when he punched me. Hit me right on the collarbone and I pretty much blacked out for a second. Again, OW._

_I was surprised when I sat back up, because I didn't really expect what I saw._

_There was another crater in the ground bigger than the one the falling 'Rex made, and Knux was trying to claw his way out of it. Shadow stood at the edge of the thing, glaring at Knuckles so hard it scared ME. Then he walked away._

_Like I said. WEIRD. Well g'night!_

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_I had a lot of WTF moments today._

_It started out normal. I woke up, got my shoes on, and went over to breakfast with everyone else. Said hey to Tails, Amy, Cosmo, Cream and Cheese, ignored Chris (he scares me...), and sort of decided against talking to Shadow. He looked...off._

_BEGIN WTF: To start with, Tails was being a whole lot less chatty than usual; he just sat there eating his...um, cereal I think it was, don't remember...but what really freaked me out was that he kept looking over sideways at Amy, and when she looked back, you woulda thought they both had fevers, their cheeks were so red._

_The next thing that hit me was...Ames wasn't fangirling like she usually does. She didn't even look at me, let alone tackle me with one of her stupid bearhugs(thank Chaos for that). My first thought about this was, 'Yes! Yesyesyes! I'm FREE!'_

_Second thought: 'Wait...Amy and Tails? What the french toast?'_

_When I actually sat down, the chilidogs in front of me disappeared at lightspeed, like always, and right when I was about to run off I noticed that Knuckles wasn't there._

_So, I went to find him and drag him down to the kitchen so he would eat._

_And yeah. That was breakfast._

_I found Knucklehead sitting on top of the Big Green Rock, just like every day, and jumped up on it myself so I could tell him he missed eating._

_Notes to Self: Knuckles is not a morning person, and touching his Big Green Rock, in the morning or anytime else, is a real bad idea._

_"What are you doing here, idiot? Get off my Emerald!"_

_One second, I was there, the next I was across the room._

_AGAIN. __**OW**__. But I shook it off. If I just laid there, Knux would've told me to 'stop being such a sissy and get the hell up,' so I didn't give him the chance._

_"Well," I said, "someone woke up on the wrong side of the Rock, eh?"_

_He just growled, so I tried to cheer him up a bit._

_"Good morning to you, too, Little Miss Sunshine. Your food's getting cold. Go eat it."_

_He said he wasn't hungry, so I left._

_Thank CHAOS I didn't fall over unconscious until I was back here. If Knucklehead saw THAT...man, I'd never hear the end of it._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_OK. I am officially WEIRDED OUT._

_Everybody on this whole entire scrapheap has lost their minds, I tell you._

_Tails hasn't worked on a machine in days, I haven't even SEEN Amy, Cream and Cheese finally shut up (Chaos-only-knows why, but I ain't complaining), and Knuckles hasn't moved from his spot on The Big Green Rock at ALL (which I guess is normal and all but he hasn't even moved!)._

_I was positive I'd been transported into some freakish alternate reality when Shadow walked up and started talking to me. Turns out he was just as bored as I was, so we had a race down some of the halls...which included me forgetting that the floors of this thing hate me, which led me to ram into a wall at just a litte bit over 950 mph._

_I didn't hear anything. No laughing, no giggling, no insults or anything like that. I looked up at him and he didn't even do that devil-smile thing he always does._

_He actually put out a hand and pulled me up, which for him was the equivalent of a miracle from Chaos in itself._

_...And then he was back to being Shadow. He said, "See you around," and walked off._

_Can't say I was that surprised, but y'know, it was way past cool while it lasted. :D_

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_Today...well...today pretty much sucked._

_To start with, I fell out of bed when I woke up and hit my shoulder, which for some reason had been hurting anyway. Then I fell over again in the hall because I was dizzy from falling out of BED. I walked down to breakfast, but when I got there I had ZERO appetite. I couldn't even down one chilidog; my stomach was hurting so bad it felt like I'd been punched there! Everyone totally freaked out when I said I wasn't hungry, so then I had to deal with about a hundred 'ohmygawd-are-you-OK's from people. I felt seriously sick for no apparent reason, and I could barely escape the kitchen without blacking out._

_And of course, since Murphy's Law is apparently stalking me, I ran into Knuckles._

_Literally._

_"Watch where you're going, dumbass!" he yelled. I can honestly say I have never seen him as mad as he was then. I dunno why, but he was glaring at me like he wanted me to spontaneously combust or drop dead of a heart-attack or something._

_I asked him what was the matter, and he kind of...exploded. I don't even remember most of what he said, but it sounded like it was MY fault, which made zero sense because I hadn't talked to him at all in a while._

_I tried to tell him I didn't know what he was talking about, because I didn't. And he punched me, right in my already-hurting-like-hell stomach._

_That time I actually did black out._

_...Y'know how I said Shadow's been acting weird lately?_

_Well, he reached a whole new galaxy of weird today. The first thing I saw when I woke up after Knux's wrecking-ball of a fist planted itself in my middle was a big black Hedgehog. __I would have been completely freaked if I'd been able to think straight._

_He asked me what happened, and I told him I just tripped, cuz I didn't want Knuckles getting in trouble (violent's just part of his personality; I'm used to it, really!), but I could tell he wasn't buying a word. Still, he didn't call me out on it; he just got up and walked away. Which was just...Shadow._

_Wanna know what WASN'T him?_

_When I finally got my bearings enough that I could look around, I saw that I was in my own room, in my own bed. Shadow CARRIED me back here._

_And-wait-HOLY CRAP, IT'S NINE AT NIGHT ALREADY?_

_I swear to Chaos, I think I'm going insane...this is SO not normal..._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_I woke up sore again. My shoulder was even BLEEDING. Major WTF there._

_That's like the fifth time it's happened; geez, do I have a sleep-fighting problem or something? Is that even possible? I don't even think I really wanna know..._

_Breakfast was normal, I guess. Besides the fact that Tails and Amy are still eyeing each other, which I don't mind at all but it looks like 'Cosmo the Peacemaker' is about to start a girlfriend-war... xD So yeah, totally normal day in the life of me!_

_Oh, also, the Chaotix crashed into our ship today. Brought a mondo huge mountain of stuff that Chris' folks sent him, and then sort of invited themselves onto the Typhoon. So now we all have to deal with Vector 'Egotistical-Phony-Detective' Crocodile, Espio 'Mr-High-and-Mighty-I'm-A-Ninja-and-Therefore-Better-Than-You' Chameleon, and Charmy 'Most-Annoying-Living-Thing-Ever-Created' Bee running around here causing havoc and leaving Tails and me to fix whatever they mess up._

_Joy._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_I'm worried about Shadow._

_Like, MONDO worried._

_I haven't seen him in a few days; I think he locked himself in his room or something... And that's kind of a first, even for him. He's just been acting really strange lately in general; I don't like seeing my friends unhappy, but Chaos knows if I ask him what's up he'll either ignore me or Spear me into a wall._

_...I think it might have something to do with Knucklehead, actually. Every time those two are in the same room together, Shadow looks so mad at him you'd think he was going to involuntarily Chaos Blast because of an anger overload. I've even had to get in between them a couple times to prevent Mobius War III; when that happens Shads pegs me with the weirdest kind of look I've ever seen...I almost get, like, a 'If-only-you-knew' sort of vibe, but there's no way it could be that cuz what has he seen that I haven't but was supposed to and...aw geez I'm giving myself a headache. Way past uncool. But anyways, back to whatever I was saying...oh yeah, well, when I try to keep those two from fighting, after Shadow stares me down, usually Knux takes the opportunity to be a poor sport and fight me instead, which I can never seem to be prepared for so I end up getting my butt kicked._

_Which Shads then finds out about, and he goes into what I like to call 'Murder Mode', which always ends in Knuckles getting HIS butt kicked._

_I'm gonna be honest here...the way Shadow's acting is starting to freak me out._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_The Metarex attacked us again! Yay!_

_...Wait. Yay? Who's side am I on? xD But seriously, YAY! I've been so bored, since nobody ever seems to have time to play, so the 'Rex was a treat, sort of._

_Me, Shadow and Knux triple-teamed it just for fun (well, me and Shads had fun, anyway; Knuckles was a spoilsport and didn't even enjoy it...-_-) and it went down in flames within seconds. SO not worthy of my time(I'm so humble xD)...it wasn't even hard! Aw, well, there's about a batrillion more where that came from, so no big deal I guess. On to the next! C'mon, Metafreaks, gimme your best shot! :D_

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_Now I can honestly say Knuckles hates me. What'd I do? It's not like I'm TRYING to get on his nerves; all I ever wanna do is spend buddy-time with him...I think..._

_Nope. Actually I dunno what to think. I just know he hates me, that's all._

_The day went by fine, for the most part. It was night that screwed me over._

_...Nighttime always freaks me out for some reason. I don't sleep that well at night, and it's just that when everyone else's in bed, there's nobody to talk to...and I sorta get a little scared of the quiet._

_Yep, I got a phobia of silence. How schizo is that. But whatever._

_Anyways, earlier tonight(it's like four in the morning now...stupid insomnia), I was walking around being bored, big surprise there, and eventually I pretty much covered the whole Typhoon, ending with the Big Green Rock's chamber, and by extension where Knucklehead was supposed to be asleep, but was really wide awake._

_I went up to him (super careful to not touch the Big Green Rock this time) and asked why he wasn't sleeping, and when he turned around to answer me, or probably just glare me into leaving, more likely, I stared._

_This is gonna sound like some cheesy romance novel, but, his eyes SPARKLED._

_The starlight lit them up like a raging purple fire-geez who am I, Janette Oke? I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead here-but still. I couldn't stop STARING._

_His yelling snapped me out of it, thank Chaos, and he just looked at me for the longest time, and then told me to leave. When I didn't, he got mad. Real mad._

_"Leave, damnit, before I MAKE you leave."_

_I remember that, but not much else, just that for the rest of that minute something hit me about twenty-six thousand times, and I saw more red than I ever had in my life. And it HURT. I remember I heard shouting, first from one voice and then suddenly there were two of them, and just hearing the second scared me to death. When the second voice showed up, the hitting stopped, and the next thing I knew I was back here again, with the door locked behind me._

_...I think I might stay away from Red for a while._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_Today was nice, despite the fact that I hurt like hell just about everywhere. I found this totally sweet little mini-forest in one of the Typhoon's spare rooms! It's awesome; there's grass and a little hill and a bunch of trees and even a waterfall (just to look at; no way in Chaos am I going near that thing). I'm completely psyched right now cuz I finally have someplace on this thing to run and not hit stuff! Weird thing is, I feel like I've been in there a lot already, like deja vu or something, but I only just found the place. But, meh. I don't care._

_I spent the whole day in there just chilling; Tails practically had to drag me down to dinner! I didn't wanna leave. xD_

_I was going to show Knuckles, but then I remembered last night, so I showed Shadow instead. When HE saw it, I got that same feeling that HE'D been there before too, but I don't recall ever seeing him there. Huh. Maybe I'll ask him about it later._

_-Sonic_

* * *

_Dear Friend,_

_Did Red get possessed or something? I'm just a LITTLE bit scared now._

_He ignored me all day today, which was fine with me I guess, and then it's like 3 AM and he comes and FINDS me._

_Well, actually, more like sneaks up behind me and thoroughly kicks my ass for no reason._

_**OW**__._

_He kept screaming at me never to talk to him again, or look at him, or even acknowledge he existed, ever again. And then I got really freaked out, because then-I still can't believe he said this-he told me if I did he'd kill me. I'm not even freaking kidding, he, Knuckles, Rad Red, my best bud since pretty much EVER, threatened to kill me. KILL. ME. I just stared. I just...I couldn't BELIEVE it._

_I'm pretty sure there isn't one place on me he forgot to hit, I'm bleeding all over the floor(thank Chaos it's metal and not plush carpet or something...THAT would suck), it feels like all my ribs are snapped into pieces, and I can barely breathe just sitting here...but even now I don't-WON'T-believe it happened. He's my FRIEND. Friends don't hurt friends...it was probably a misunderstanding or whatever. Yeah, sure, he's threatened me before, when we play-fight. All those times back then, I'd known he wasn't serious, and when he actually was, he got over it in a few days, just like I know he will this time. He's schizo like that._

_Tonight...he looked serious, but he CAN'T be, he just...can't. But..._

_Chaos, his eyes are gonna give me nightmares for weeks._

_-Sonic_

* * *

Having heard the fight-excuse me, _assault_, to be more accurate-from afar, having not been able to get there in time, having seen and followed the disturbingly large trail of crimson that led back to Sonic's room, having seen a bloodstained journal laying open on the floor when he got there, and finally, having picked it up and read it...Shadow the Hedgehog could not have been more shocked, horrified, furious, and disgusted if he'd tried.

Sanguine eyes glanced up to stare at the beaten form of Sonic the Hedgehog, curled up into a sideways ball on the bed in the corner of the room. Just seeing his rival-turned-friend so utterly helpless, and obviously in pain, coupled with the maddening sound of dark-red blood as it dripped slowly off the bedspread to the floor below it with a quiet _plink,_ and the fact that Shadow knew who had done such a horrid, unforgivable thing and yet he _couldn't do a damn thing about it_ because Sonic would never just stand by and watch him brutally murder that bastard of an Echidna, was just too much, even for he: Shadow the Distant, the Heartless.

The ebony Hedgehog found himself in a sort of shock that sent him reeling; the little crimson-tainted book left his hand, falling to the equally crimson steel he stood on with a wet thud, and the tears came before he could stop them, staining the tan fur of his muzzle and, soon after, joining the grotesquely decorated floor.

Taking a last look at the no-longer-so-unbeatable Blur, he turned and ran.

He didn't know why; he didn't know where. He just _ran_.


	2. Shove

**This is set in the Metarex saga of Sonic X. You can pretty much tell that when you read it, but I'm saying it now.**

**WARNING: Shadow, being Shadow, is not very happy in this fic. Expect cursing and lots of it.**

**As a last note: Holy freaking mother of Chaos, it's done? PRAISE THE GODS! 8D I spent over a week's worth of hours on this. It's probably the most difficult thing to write that I've ever written of my own free will. The only things harder were school essays. -_-  
I changed virtually everything in it around so many times it gave me a an effing migraine. It **_**still**_** isn't the way I wanted it to be. Grr.  
But I didn't want to disappoint the peoplez that like reading my stuff, so I just put my ass in gear, fixed the batrillions of mistakes that my awesomeful beta reader pointed out, and viola. This...thing was born. And lemme tell ya, it wasn't nice to it's mommy. -dies of exhaustion-**

**So here you go. :3 Happy reading!**

* * *

_**Shove**_

"Hey, Knux!"

Knuckles the Echidna signaled his friend with a cool stare of indifference. "What do you want?"

"Nothing," the cerulean Hedgehog almost whined, "except I'm _bored_! There's nothin' to do on this thing, and if I have to go one more day without space to run I'll go stir-crazy! I wish Tails had made this stupid thing bigger..." He was, of course, referring to the monumental airborne structure that was the Blue Typhoon, Tails the Kitsune's pride and joy. It boasted over five hundred kilometers of hallway, which would be heaven for someone who loved to run as much as Sonic the Hedgehog (in fact Tails had gone considerably overkill with size, foreseeing his brother's distress at confinement).

Sonic still wasn't satisfied, but he certainly wasn't ungrateful, by any means; on the contrary, the spacious aircraft saved him from running around in circles, which was what he usually ended up doing whenever he was somewhere he couldn't leave, so he was happy for that at least.

But for Sonic, as everyone knew, monumental just wasn't good enough. He needed more along the lines of...universal.

Knuckles, however, seemed to be an exception to this; he rarely paid attention to the Blue Blur's way of living, and therefore failed to see why the kid had any reason whatsoever for his borderline-pouty rant.

"And what would you like me to do about it?" he said with a tone that very clearly (he hoped) put across the fact that no matter what the annoyance talking to him answered, hell would freeze over and declare a snow-day before he did it.

Sonic smiled in a way only describable as the way a first-grader smiled in anticipation of recess; Knuckles had to admit it unnerved him that a fifteen-year-old kid could be so childish and still manage to strike irrational fear into the hearts of all who saw him.

The Guardian supposed he should have expected the answer.

"Play with me! Please?"

Despite knowing it _would_ be said sooner or later (this being Sonic, after all), Knuckles couldn't help the utter bewilderment he felt at such a simplistic and childlike request.

"_What_?" he sputtered, not sure, and not entirely wanting to be sure, he'd heard right.

"Play. With. Me. I'm begging you, can we please just do _something_ besides walking around doing nothing, or listening to Tails fail to explain plane schematics?"

The Guardian of the Master Emerald had done many things in his life, and some that he wouldn't believe he'd gone through with (such as the hundreds of times the Hedgehog before him had dragged him headfirst into his daredevil adventures), but he'd be damned if playing was one of them. Truth be told, he didn't know _how_ to play, but obviously he wasn't about to divulge that very personal fact to someone like Sonic.

"No. Go find someone else to pester," he growled, concealing his embarassment with a healthy dose of 'rough-around-the-edges'. He leveled an icy glare at the boy, trying to be intimidating but really only succeeding in looking like he was going to just bash his head through the floor any second.

Something deep down in Sonic's sparkling emerald eyes faltered, so minute only Knuckles, and possibly Tails had he been there at the time, could have seen it. Knuckles knew from experience that was his way of expressing that that last comment sort of hurt, but he ignored the subtle warning sign and instead stared out the window, wanting absolutely nothing in the world more at that moment than to not be standing there with a lonely  
fifteen-year-old Hedgehog beside him. The Emerald Guardian scowled in frustration.

"Oh...OK. You wanna just take a walk, then?"

Knuckles almost gagged on thin air upon hearing this. Sonic the Speed Demon, asking for a simple walk? _What the hell_?

"I said no. I don't want to go on a walk, and I don't want to play. It's not my fault you're so codependent you need attention 24/7. Ask someone else to entertain you, because I'm _not _interested. Leave, before I _make you leave_."

The way Knuckles growled those last three words caused Sonic to think twice about sticking around. He vaguely recalled what happened the last time the Echidna had said that. Shouting...a short fight afterwards...his head had hurt too much to think, he couldn't remember but small moments of it. But he did know there had been red. Lots and lots and _lots_ of red...

But then he shoved those thoughts out of his mind's eye with an inward reproaching smile. Knuckles would never hurt him, he was his friend. Friends don't hurt friends. Right?

"I can't, Knux. Tails is fixing stuff, Cosmo and Cream are asleep, Chris is inventing stuff, I barely know the Chaotix, I'd sooner swim than hang around Amy," -Sonic shuddered at the thought- "and you know as well as I Shadow would have no qualms about ripping my head off if I asked him _anything._" He sighed softly, suddenly finding the metal tiles they both stood on to be the most interesting thing in the world.

"Please, Knuckles? I'm lonely...I wanna talk with somebody..."

Knuckles cursed mentally. Damn Sonic's family for getting roboticized. He knew how much it pained the azure Hedgehog to be alone; after losing his mother, father and uncle, along with his big brother Manic and little sister Sonia, Sonic had been known to snap and go catatonic when he was unaccompanied. If somebody wasn't around him at all times he'd think his friends had been carted off by Eggman. The war with Robotnik had caused the Blue Blur's mental state to shift ever so slightly off-base; Knuckles had been there through it all, and he knew.  
(Everyone knew, really, but they'd opted for the "Ignorance is Bliss" approach. AKA, what Sonic didn't think about or remember couldn't drive him insane.)

But lately the "Blue Blunder", as he liked to call him, had been bothering him nonstop, always asking him to do things, go places, have talks. It was driving him up the wall, and he'd tried very often to pound that fact into the azure adolescent, but Sonic just couldn't, or wouldn't, take the hint.

He really did care about the kid. Sonic's annoying-o-meter had just been way up there in the mid-six-thousands ever since the Blue Typhoon took to the air, and Knuckles didn't feel obliged to be around that of his own free will. Besides, not like it would _kill_ the kid to sit and read a book more often!

"For the last time, no! You'll survive alone until morning; just deal with it!"

Sonic visibly cringed at the mention of the very word 'alone', immediately smiling in a lopsided way that all but screamed 'um no, I actually kind of won't, but I'll just let you think that'. The boy's hasty reply was meant to conceal the severity of the hurt behind it, but since the words tumbled out of his mouth just about as fast as he could run, it did nothing of the sort, only serving to make Knuckles finally think twice about what he'd just said.

"It's no big deal I guess I'll just go myself, it's fine OK goodnight Knux!"

With that, he turned and walked, marginally slower than his usual headlong dashes, down the hall and out of sight. Knuckles noticed that he shook just the tiniest bit, but he swiftly and avoidingly discounted it to the fact that it was the dead of night in winter.

...In space? Yeah. Sure. He just didn't want to admit to being an ass.

"You know as well as I that it is no fault of Faker's if he is codependent, Knuckles."

The scarlet Echidna whirled around, surprised out of his state of indifference.

"Idiot. It's plain he only wanted to be close to you; he was probably planning on telling you something, but decided against it. Smart kid."  
The words were almost hissed, even going so far as to sound like a snarl.

Knuckles unfortunately (according to him anyway) would know that cold, cutting and yet velvet-soft voice anywhere.

"And since when did you get a bachelor's in psychology, Shadow?" the boy snapped, irritated at being caught off guard.

"I don't need one to notice how he looks at you, despite what you put him through."

"What are you talking about?"

Shadow leaned back against the wall, arms crossed, eyes closed in thought. He was fast becoming agitated at Knuckles' lack of understanding, and longed to scratch attempting communication and simply Chaos Spear the clueless oaf into the nearest wall he could find as an outlet for his ever-growing frustration at the Echidna's record-breaking stupidity. The ebony Hedgehog only just barely restrained himself as he answered.

"When did you two last argue? When was the last time he disagreed with you on anything at all? How many times have you seen his eyes dull when you hurt him intentionally or otherwise? How many times has he had grounds and ample ability to kick your sorry ass halfway into the next century, but refrained? How many times have you seen him still have to force himself to walk the other way when you hit him, instead of continuing the lost cause of trying to earn your _affection_?"

He treated the last word like a curse; Knuckles knew he was not on friendly ground with the Ultimate Lifeform, but even Shadow was not usually this vicious in their few confrontations. Why would the brooding Hedgehog be so worked up over that cocky blue idiot?  
They were supposed to be enemies. At each other's throats, for Chaos sake!

To anybody else the implications would be obvious, but Knuckles, being Knuckles, just gave the guy a strange look and wondered what the hell was going on with him.

As for Shadow's accusing questions, the Guardian could say nothing. He was speechless; truth be told he _hadn't_ noticed. He'd been preoccupied trying to stay as far away from Sonic as the Blue Typhoon would let him.

"I do not pride myself in being able to know more about you and Faker than you yourself are supposed to be aware of. I'm actually disgusted that you're so out of touch with the realm of emotion you don't realize you're breaking his heart and his spirit right along with it. You're killing him and you don't even care."

Knuckles stared. '_Well, there's something you don't see every day. Shadow the Distant, lecturing about emotion. Today must be a cold day in hell._'

Shadow looked up into Knuckles' eyes, and for one small instant, quicker than lightning and just as blindingly bright, some strange, unknown flicker of something the Echidna had never seen in those bloody-red pools was there and gone again, leaving Knuckles thinking maybe he'd only imagined it. Shadow was now in a staring contest with the smooth steel flooring; he gestured vaguely in the general direction Sonic had retreated to. Crimson orbs that nearly glowed in the moonlight looked at him sideways, fixing him with an expectant, half-lidded stare.

"Since you're on your way to go look for him," -Knuckles did not fail to notice the veiled threat in Shadow's phrasing- "try the terrarium, near the small waterfall. That's my best guess as to where he'd be." The Echidna did not, Shadow decided, need to be aware of why he knew this, and so the questioning glance he'd been given at the seemingly out-of-nowhere statement was quickly shot down with a glare that very well could have frozen the sun into a cold, dead block of ice.

The Ultimate Lifeform glanced over at where he'd pointed, a pensive glint in his eye.

"I suggest you go and at least sit with him, if you can't bring yourself to put down your pride for a moment, open your stupid mouth and apologize."

In a flash, he was gone, disappearing into the dark corners of the hall in quite a hurry to put himself as far away from the red Echidna who he'd just admonished as he possibly could, hands peculiarly balled into fists.

_'What was __**that**__ all about?'_ Knuckles wondered as he made his way toward the terrarium Tails had installed in one of the Blue Typhoons many spare storerooms (yet another caring attempt to give his older sibling more space), at a complete loss of what he should say once he found Sonic.

The indoor greenhouse, when he saw it for himself, was absolutely enormous, so large that he couldn't see to the other side of the place even if he squinted; It looked to him to be a perfect copy of the entire Great Forest. He gazed around in amazement.

Shadow had said there was a waterfall somewhere in this gigantic maze of flora that would no doubt put Pan's labyrinth to shame, but it apparently was very far away; Knuckles couldn't even hear the crash of cascading water.

Without the wind to ruffle the trees and foliage, or Flickies, squirrels (feral of course) and other critters to scamper about and fill the place with song and life, it was a serene, still, silent retreat that almost forced its eerie calm upon whoever dared venture in.

The whole forest looked like it had been spun of glass.

He had no trouble imagining that if Sonic had ever been able to find somewhere he could just stop moving altogether, sit down, and shut down, it was definitely here.

Thoughts going a hundred miles a minute, he set out to find his forlorn friend.

* * *

...When he actually saw him, he was a bit taken aback.

_'Shadow said he sits by the stupid thing, not __**in**__ it!' _Knuckles shouted in his head, for indeed that is exactly what Sonic had done. A small rock formation that couldn't have been more than three feet across jutted a little ways out above the tossing water, only slightly beyond reach of the icy torrent enclosing it on all sides.

Sonic was sitting on the edge of said precipice, legs dangling over and idly kicking up sprays of the clear liquid that came within a hair's breadth of soaking him to the bone.

He didn't even flinch.

"Sonic!" Knuckles hollered over the cacaphony of pounding rapids trying his hardest not to panic, "What the _hell _do you think you're doing?"

He'd never been as worried for his friend as he was then. Which he mentally kicked himself for, because it made him all the more heartless; surely, if you were someone's best friend, had known them their entire _life_, you would never deny them a request for a simple walk or someone to talk to, not to _mention_ care about them having apparently put themselves in mortal danger and being mere feet away from a watery grave!

_And yet_, Knuckles' much-ignored conscience screamed as he watched the azure Hedgehog fearfully, _you've only just begun to acknowledge the latter. You ignored the former for years, and look what that's gotten you._

The Blue Blur seemed not to have heard him (big surprise there, what with the deafening crash of thousands of gallons of liquid as it fell); he stared blankly down from his perch, lost in thought and yet perfectly aware of his surroundings.

...Someone being hypnotized, the scarlet Echidna thought, that's what he looked like. Hypnotized, apparently, by things Knuckles could not see but somehow simply knew were there. More alarming by far, Sonic was absolutely entranced by the way the falling water struck the sinisterly positioned jagged slabs and spears of black rock at the bottom of the fifty-foot drop...hypnotized, also, by the sound it made, how it looked, how the crystal clear fluid almost wailed and hissed in agony as it was slain by obsidian. What with how attentively he watched the water as it fell, Sonic seemed to be sizing up the distance to the ground, considering how it might feel if he were to take the "water's fall"...would it sound-smell-taste-_feel_ the same if he were down there with it?  
Or would it be different?

Knuckles saw all this and more and nothing at all in that Hedgehog's tortured eyes...those great chasms of deep forest green that swallowed all they took in, stared into your very soul and could rip you to shreds without so much as a word, but still showed undying love and loyalty for all those he knew, were utterly empty and soulless and all the same they were full to bursting, as Sonic contemplated waterfalls.

While the Guardian tried to figure some way to get his friend off of that rock that stood right at the midpoint of a good twenty feet of frigid H2O, Shadow walked up.

Without so much as a word, he strode to the edge of the water and Chaos Controlled himself out of sight, instantaneously reappearing beside Sonic. Shadow balanced on the impossibly small outcropping of stone with considerable ease; Knuckles couldn't help getting the feeling that he had done it many, many times before...

The Ultimate Lifeform didn't rouse the little blue furball from his supposedly self-induced near-coma, instead laying a hand lightly on his shoulder and performing a subsequent Chaos Control to place them both back on sturdy, dry land.

Sonic may as well have been a statue for all the notice he gave the sudden change in location. His unwavering gaze, so full of life, yet so deadened, remained downcast. For just the shortest moment, his rescuer stood there with fingers almost touching the child and almost not, as if hesitating in his decision whether to stay, or go and let Knuckles handle it.

Still not having uttered one syllable, Shadow took a quick, shallow breath, and turned back to his namesakes, a golden blur as he retreated from the scene much faster than he'd meant to. And then the scarlet Echidna was alone with Sonic in the soundless Great Forest.

Knuckles took the blatant hint and sat down beside his catatonic friend, grappling in his mind for something, _anything_ to say, please Chaos let him not just sit there like a mute idiot and drive Sonic's heart even further away from him than it already was...

"I'm sorry for earlier, Sonic. I was really making an ass out of myself, and I'm sorry."

Sonic the Statue didn't respond. His body still and his gaze distant and cold as the stone he so resembled, the azure adolescent said nothing, still trapped in his own personal hell. Knuckles knew that mere words wouldn't fix him, so he sat there, not speaking but not getting up either.

It seemed like hours later that Sonic's quiet, subdued voice was heard.

"Gone." One uncomplicated word, yet with so much raw emotion behind it it seemed more fitting for him to have screamed, instead of whispered.

Just one word, and that one word was enough to send shivers of unease up Knuckles' spines.

"Gone." There it was again.

"I'm right here, Sonic. Look at me kid. This isn't like you."

Sonic half-whimpered, curling into a ball and shivering violently, whether in pain, sadness or fury Knuckles didn't know. He looked nothing like the happy-go-lucky, annoyingly confident Sonic that he'd grown up alongside.

The pitiful sounds coming from Mobius' saviour tore Knuckles' heart to pieces, but for the life of him he didn't think he could do anything to help.

Hell, he didn't even know what the guy was crying about!

"C'mon Sonic, don't be like that," he murmured, resting a hand around his friend's shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting embrace because that was all he knew to try. The Guardian of the Master Emerald was utterly clueless about this kind of thing. He'd spent his early childhood alone on a chunk of rock five-hundred feet in the air, and hadn't really had to soothe hysterical Hedgehogs out of mental episodes very often...

Sonic recoiled from the touch as if it had burned him, twitching madly and rolling himself up even tighter. His razor-sharp defensive spikes shot out in subconscious warning that he was not be fucked with at the moment, and Knuckles had to yank his hand back to keep it from being impaled.

He knew deep down, or rather tried to convince himself, that it couldn't be him the boy took solace in.

"I'm sorry, Sonic. Even if you don't believe me."

At the verge of tears for the first time in his life, Knuckles made quick his exit.

..Finally seeming to awaken from his state of blank detachment, the first thing Sonic saw was an empty forest, entirely devoid of Echidnas.

_He's gone. He's gone for good this time._

That whispered voice, strangely his own, resounded in Sonic's head like nails dragging themselves down a chalkboard, and the finality of it was so painful he clutched his head in agony as the tears fell before he even realized he was crying.

Perhaps Sonic might have been able to keep a hold on himself if Knuckles had been there, but as it were, the absence of the object of both his happiness and torture was what ultimately caused the floodgates to burst.

"Oh, CHAOS!" His mind and heart breaking into fragments that would possibly never reassemble, Sonic just couldn't conceal the hurt anymore.

"Oh Chaos, I tried! I tried so hard! He didn't care! He just left, he left me alone..." He stared up at the sky, raw hatred glistening in his eyes.

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?" his shrill, desperate voice declared, as if positive that if he screamed loud enough the God of Destruction would hear and somehow ease his pain.

The Blue Blur cried dejectedly, shaking all over and no longer caring in the least about maintaining his 'devil-may-care' bravado. After all, who cared about keeping appearances when your whole world was crashing down around you?

Sonic sat there sobbing by the wall of water indefinitely; it could have been seconds, minutes, days, weeks or even years later when he felt a rush of wind blow past him, indicating he had company. The air grew warmer, and something or someone assumed a position close beside him; he knew who it was without opening his eyes.

Softness closed in around him, and the fact that it wasn't Knuckles caused him to simply shatter, falling apart in the arms of his confidant.

* * *

I watched as that imbecile Echidna got up and left. Just got up and fucking _left_ Faker sitting there sobbing his heart out.

Note to Self: Kill that fucking asshole in the slowest and most painful way possible tomorrow morning.

I shouldn't have trusted him to fix Faker. And I also shouldn't have let my emotions be so visible when I confronted him, but I couldn't help it. I just couldn't stand seeing Faker's continuous depression so I let the moron try one last time, because I seriously questioned the extent of my self-control if I was forced to go one more day watching the shit that Knuckles put Faker through without any hint of remorse.

I shouldn't have given him that chance when he'd been given so many thousands already. It backfired and went to hell in a fucking handbasket.

But, fuck, why am I so surprised? Everything always went wrong around that gullible dumbass.

This sort of thing happened so often with those two it was practically a fucking daily routine. Faker would innocently ask him to play, or take a walk with him, or help him with something, or would he like to go for ice cream in the Blue Typhoon's kitchen, or listen in on Tails' tech talks?

The answer was always no. Never yes, never maybe. Just no.

And each and every time, he would ask again, a last ditch effort, and please Chaos spare him from yet another rejection? Well, hell no to that too.

Knuckles never spoke to him if he could avoid it. And when he couldn't, he usually ended up venting that fact on Faker, who never let anyone see the bruises and cuts, or notice the slight limp as he walked, that resulted from these instances. One morning I'd seen him wince as he put on his running shoes, and looked down to see his wrist had a black ring of bruising around it, a jagged purplish line ran up his arm, and a slash on his shoulder bled.

I'd gone so far as to _accidentally _lock myself in my room on the Blue Typhoon for two days to keep from ripping Knuckles' fucking head clean off with my bare hands, after that, and even then I'd had to remind myself constantly that Faker would be upset with me if I brutally murdered his _best friend_.

...I still have no fucking idea how he just kept trying, knowing the result beforehand, not caring if he was physically hurt and still going at it again and screw the other eleven- or twelve-billion times, only to be shoved away for the twelve-billion and first. Seeing that happen right in front of me was like watching some twisted fucking parody of the puppy that wouldn't run away from its master no matter how much it was beaten. Faker would always just come back for more the very next day, seemingly (in the emotional sense, because obviously as far as physical went he was a damn sight more than that) unaffected.

Seemingly.

He was nowhere remotely near unaffected, and hadn't been for weeks.

I of all people would know. I'm the only one that knows.

The night of that first time he'd tried to get closer to Knuckles, I'd been walking around the corridors unable to sleep; he blasted past me going well over his normal speed. A choked sort of sound escaped him in the instant he was in my sight, and then he disappeared.

Curious, admittedly, more than concerned at the moment, I followed the trail of neon light he'd left behind and saw that it led to Tails' terrarium (if it could even be called that; the damned thing was as big, if not bigger than the Great Forest itself).

His path still glistened and shimmered in the pale moonlight, lingering in the absence of the wind that would normally shoo it away; I followed it, and once it finally stopped I was stunned to see that there he sat, perched upon an uprising of stone poised in the middle of a fast-flowing river, not three yards away from a waterfall.

"Are you crazy, blue Hedgehog?" I remember calling to him over the cacaphony of the rapids,

"You can't stand water; what in Chaos are you doing, Faker?"

I had recieved no answer, which prompted me to believe he wasn't quite lucid; I Chaos Controlled myself onto the small mesa of stone beside him.

At first I'd almost lost my balance, but quickly gained proper footing before the rushing current could catch me. A spray of icy water flew up in both our faces, and I shivered, the shock of cold ringing through me as if I were a bell that had rung.

Faker didn't even flinch.

The kid was utterly soaked, cobalt fur darkened almost to black and matted against his form from the dowsing, but he neither shook nor gave any attempt to dry himself off, staring blankly at things I could not see.

It had been at that moment I'd realized that something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

Faker...Sonic... was nothing if not aquaphobic. He hated water, hated absolutely everything about it and associated with it. He was a perfectly good swimmer (as I'd found out when Tails told me about the day he'd rescued Amy from Emerald Coast) but for some reason water terrified him; any concentration of it larger than the amount one would normally put in a bathtub sent him either backpedaling as far as he could go in the other direction, or collapsing into paralyzed hysterics. Sonic was as helpless as a two-year-old around it.

And yet there he'd sat, in the midst of his greatest fear, perfectly disinterested. It had given me chills just looking at him.

Careful not to unbalance myself, I laid a hand on his locked-rigid shoulder and Chaos Controlled us both back onto the grass at the falls' edge, taking a seat beside him. He didn't move except for the hitching, sporadic motion of his chest as he drew in each quiet, ragged breath.

"What's going on with you, blue Hedgehog? You're usually in a much more chipper mood."

The extremely uncharacteristic (yet welcomed, I'll be honest) silence prevailed.

I saw that words would do nothing, so I kept him company. Eventually I felt something leaning against me, and found that it was Sonic. Time passed and he'd grown slowly heavier upon me until he was out cold on my shoulder.

Since that night nearly two months ago, not a day has passed that I haven't found him sitting there on that stone, and taken him away from it. Every night it happens again, and it is and has always been that damned Echidna's fault.

I've tried a couple of times to talk to him about it, but he never seems to remember the night before. He just looks at me in total obliviousness and asks me jokingly 'if I was sleepwalking or something'. Then he runs off, no doubt back to Knuckles for yet another day of hell.

I made the folly of mentioning Knuckles once, in one of our conversations; his smile instantly went from sincere to forced as he stared me down with a glance that by anyone else could have been taken as neutral, but I understood to mean, 'don't push it Shads; back out of the subject now and your mouth will stay attached to your face', just daring me to say it again. I didn't, because in his state of mind I really wouldn't have put it past him to do such a thing. The idiot Echidna was not brought up again, life went on.

Every fucking night I found him sitting in the middle of his phobia, and every fucking night I dragged him back and waited for him to diffuse himself.

Every morning after left him with no memory of what he'd done. Which was just as well, in my opinion.

...I should have known that one of these days would just prove to be the one time too many.

* * *

All this flitted in my mind's eye in the split-second it took me to walk over and take my customary place at his side, silent as always but my thoughts speaking volumes.

Then, something unexpected happened. _He _spoke. Not just spoke, but to _me_.

That he was aware of what had just taken place was its own small miracle. He slowly unfurled himself, though still keeping his knees pulled up, ungloved hands wrapped around them so tightly the knuckles shone white underneath tan fur.

"Shadow...why does he hate me...what did I do."

The words suggested a question, but they weren't; it was a declaration, an honest belief that it was his fault Knuckles was so damned cold. His eyes stabbed at me like icy, dull needles, imploring that I give him answer to an unanswerable query.

"You did nothing...Sonic..." I told him, calling him by his actual name, out loud, for the first time in my life. The word actually felt sort of nice to say.

"You weren't the cause of anything done or said to you. None of it is your fault." Every word was the Chaos' honest truth, but he shook his head vigorously, eyes shut tight against the tears that his still faintly present pride refused to let fall. To him, the idea that Knuckles could ever do anything considered wrong was an absolute taboo, forbidden by his ever-forgiving heart of gold that rendered him too damn trusting for his own good.

"No, it is. It has to be. Something I did, my fault, I don't know what but it's something I did!"

At this rate, he was going to work himself up into a flailing self-destructive frenzy. Even I had trouble snapping him out of those.

I wasn't entirely certain I could bring him out of his depression this time, regardless. He did _not_ want to be touched, and words don't really mean anything when the sound of your own thoughts screaming that it's all your fault drowns them out.

Deciding to just do what I could, I wrapped my arms around him, ignoring the spasmatic jerking and drowned sobs that resulted as Sonic attempted to shove me away. He was no match for my strength, but his mind didn't register that, so he kept pulling, twisting and kicking, hollow eyes wide and darkened with desperation.

I tugged him closer against me, until he couldn't move no matter how impossibly hard he tried. He struggled a bit longer, before stiffening as he finally comprehended that I wouldn't be letting him go anywhere anytime soon.

Sonic's entire body seemed to go limp as he uttered one last strangled cry of anguish, and the next thing I knew he was clinging onto me twice as hard as I had done to him, small yet insanely powerful arms locked in a vice-grip around my neck.

"Shadow...please...I know you're supposed to hate me but please don't leave!"

That outburst was a bit shocking. I almost couldn't respond.

"Why would I do that?" I whispered, surprising myself by laying my head on his shoulder; it was relaxing for me, for some reason, and thankfully comforting for him.

Sonic's voice shook horribly, but it was a definite improvement to the hoarse screaming at the sky he'd been doing earlier.

"Everybody...else...did..."

I lifted him away from me just slightly, just enough to look him in the eyes; they were terrified, glazed over with the guise of someone who'd been torn from everyone and everything they'd ever loved, convinced it would happen again but so badly wanting to believe that wasn't so.

My cheeks flared up, as did the blazing fury I'd felt earlier at seeing the real extent of the emotional damage Knuckles had dealt Sonic with his constant verbal and physical cruelty. With difficulty I pushed it away, telling myself that making the Echidna hurt wasn't important at the moment and could wait until later, while making Sonic _stop _hurting couldn't be put off another second. I sighed inwardly, pulling him close again, this time to calm _myself_ down as well as he.

Sonic was broken, that much I knew. Knuckles had broken him. I'd given the stubborn Echidna as violent a shove in Sonic's direction as I possibly could, but he'd ended up shattering the poor kid further. In a way this whole damned thing was my fault.

...Guess I'd have to stick around and put the Blue Blur back together.

"Nobody else ever will, Sonic. I'm not going anywhere."

_**To Be Concluded**_

* * *

**Liked it? Hated it? Loved it? Faved it? Made you laugh? Made you cry? Couldn't care less? Regardless, please leave a review to tell me if it did/didn't suck. That's not too much to ask right? After all I did? OK, now that's settled... have a nice rest of your fanfic-filled day. :D**

**Signing off for now,  
-Takhrenixe**


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